Shear Insanity

Tot hier toe en nie verder nie!

2009-10-16T00:41:00.000-07:00

What a week! Just being my normal self, I like to stress for hours on end about silly things. Fought with friends, losing my temper, looking for a new flat, trying to find parking outside Vega...now I got a cold as well. It is enough to make me pull out my own hair! We use the term "pulling out my hair" so often, we don't really know that it comes from a disorder millions of people suffer from.

Jacobus can feel the tension building, sometimes for hours, before he give in to his impulse. Although he knows he's affecting his dark good looks, the anxiety doesn't go away until he's pulled out another fistful of his own curly black hair. He immediately tells himself that he'll never do it again, but he secretly knows that he won't be able to keep that promise.

Jacobus has what is called trichotillomania.

It is a psychological disorder characterized by an inability to resist the impulse to pull out your hair. Frustrating to those who have it, their family members, and their doctors, the condition often begins in childhood, but can persist for decades — sometimes for a lifetime. (http://www.trich.org/)

Next time you feel like pulling out your own hair... Don't do it. Breathe, do yoga, go walk the dogs or go for a run. Do anything, it is just not worth it to be cross or pissed off for more than a second. A friend and I decided yesterday that life is just too short.

Enjoy your Friday!

Toe toe, toe toe toe tooooo toe...

2009-10-14T11:48:00.000-07:00

Crazy things happened to me since I had my haircut. Good friends need to take a second look, feeling all types of crazy emotions and being compared to the most unlikely people. But I must say, the craziest thing of all is being compared to Ruda Landman. Thank you Jeremy! I even had to honor of leaving the classroom with the 'Carte Blanche' theme song playing in the background. Should I be honored? I don't know guys... Ruda? Really?

It's off, now what?

2009-10-12T12:48:00.000-07:00

In her article on "The Power of Women's Hair in the Victorian Imagination," Elizabeth G. Gitter states:

The more abundant the hair, the more potent the sexual invitation implied in its display. For folk, literary and psychoanalytic traditions agree that the luxuriance of the hair is an index of vigorous sexuality, even of wantonness. (938)

I did farm swop for the weekend, so I wasn't able to complain or comment about my cold head. I got so much attention with my hair this past week, it made someone so jealous, she put a nasty spell on me and turned my most beautiful feature into a curse. I might just be the modern day Medusa. My hair is gone, now every time a man takes look at me, that person just might turn into stone. Ag shame.

I am not regretting my decision to cut my hair or complaining about comments from men. I actually enjoy playing with all the stones, and playing chess with them. But some do become a stone in my shoe. Why do I care what others think? Should I comb my hair like Lady Lilith and stare into a tiny mirror with self satisfaction? No thank you, hair is hard work and have you seen the prices for GHD's. I would rather spend it on shiraz and shoes. See! I'm still a girl!

Bare it all

2009-10-08T07:59:00.000-07:00

Confession: I feel naked. Maybe even unfinished, or I might even look androgynous. Have I lost my look, my sex appeal, my Jana-ness? Hopefully my hair will make people think I have great bone structure, an acceptable nose, and determination.

The shape of my head has been commented on... and the contents. I have noticed that people look me straight in the face when they talk to me, there is no thick curtain covering my face anymore. Being recognized is much easier as well. Now I am the girl with the red lips and my behind gets more much deserved attention. Greatest of all, everyone sees me in three dimensions, there is no hiding anymore.

Sker!

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair

2009-10-07T11:50:00.000-07:00

Hair is perhaps our most powerful symbol of individual and group identity - powerful first because it is physical and therefore extremely personal, and second because, although personal, it is also public rather than private. (Shame and Glory: A sociology of hair, By Anthony Synnott; The British Journal of Sociology, Vol 38, no. 3 (Sep., 1987), pp. 381 - 413)

This explains my emotions during my haircut, not only did I lose something, but I was busy making a statement to everyone around. At that moment I had no idea what it was, maybe I still don't know, but I do know that I feel more free and careless than ever before!

Doth not nature itself not teach you, that if a man have long hair it is a shame unto him? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her?

So wrote St. Paul to the people of Corinth (1 Cor. 11: 14 - 15)

I have always loved the famous German fairy tale Rapunzel. A beautiful long-haired princess was kept captive by an evil bitch witch high in a tower. One day as the prince was riding through the forest on his horse, he heard Rapunzel's better-than-Idols voice coming from the dark tower. This prince wanted to meet the girl behind the voice, and the only way they could meet if she throw her hair down. Upon meeting her, Prince Charming fell in love with Rapunzel and asked to marry him. (As easy as that girls, just let your hair down...) Evil Bitch witch found out about the love birds' plan to escape, and this made her boos! She took some crazy looking scissors and cut all Rapunzels hair off.

Haha, this is where I would like the story to end. The moral of the story? I don't know, I'm still finding a purpose and meaning for my 'hair story'.

Fluit fluit my storie is uit.

Masculine Brings Out Feminine

2009-10-06T09:33:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from UNDRESSING CINEMA, Clothing and identity in the movies by Stella Bruzzi; 1997.

"What is most beautiful in virile men is something feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine. (Sontag 1964: 108)"

Firstly, I would like to thank all my friends for all the support and love I recieved. Who needs hair when you have such amazing friends!

Today was my second day with no hair and a very cold head. The feedback from my emotional haircut was interesting and positive. Most interesting for me was the feedback I got from the boys... The night before my haircut, two of my male friends told me that I was going to regret cutting my hair and that I was going to be single for a very long time. Well, my nicer male friends thought I looked good. Some even said 'sexy'. I never got called 'sexy' before, even with my long beautiful locks! The girls, on the other hand, were more shocked and surprised that I went through with this silly idea of mine. They kept telling me how brave I was. Why am I brave for cutting my hair off? People go through much more hectic things. What I learned in the process is that too much of my identity was laid in my exterior appearance. I was sad and quiet for two days because I felt almost that something was taken from me. Imagine how people must struggle with their sense of identity when they have lost a limb or something more intense than hair.

I am lucky in a sense that I get to experience these feelings. I got to know a part of myself that I never knew existed and it also gives other people the opportunity to see a different side of me.

Good night, see you tomorrow.

O Fok...

2009-10-05T06:22:00.001-07:00

I couldn't sleep last night. I had a dream that my dad was really upset with me for getting rid of my hair. After class I went for lunch with Briony, she came with me for the much needed support. While having lunch I called my dad to let him know what I was about to do, he wasn't happy, but still supportive.

Arrived at Carlton for my 14:00 appointment. By this time I couldn't breathe, I think I forgot how to. I even went and bought siren red lipstick to give me a confidence boost - it did not work... Everyone at Carlton couldn't believe what I was doing. After the haircut, I felt very emotional and I still can't speak. I can almost say I feel a kind of loss. I'm going to donate my hair to CANSA, hopefully my loss will make someone even more beautiful.

Enjoy the few moments of insanity, they are few.

Hair-less?

2009-10-04T08:14:00.000-07:00

Cutting my hair seems like the ultimate risk to take.

I've had long hair my whole life. My hair is my pride. Never been coloured or cut in an outrageous style. My hair is safe. My dress style is very flexible. I love to dress up and go crazy, but my hair is always down and natural. But there was this part of me that always wanted to get rid of it all. Hair is the one thing you should not be scared to experiment with, because it will always grow back to the way it was. Ever since I was 14, I wanted to cut my hair off after Matric and donate the hair to CANSA. I never did it because I had a boyfriend at the time who loved my long hair.

Today I'm single, 21 years old, and ready to be daring after a hard year.